Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
 

Patient : “What are the chances of my recovering doctor?”
Doctor : “One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of
ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve
treated. The others all died”.

Teacher : “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
One Student : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.”

 

Teacher : “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father
didn’t punish him ?”
One Student: ” Because George still had the axe in is hand.”

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy.

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else ?
Boyfriend :Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.

Teacher : “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?”
Pupil : “The moon”.
Teacher : “Why?”
Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light
only in the day time when we don’t need it”.

Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Pupil : “A teacher”.

Teacher : “Sam, you talk a lot !”
Sam : “It’s a family tradition”.
Teacher : “What do you mean?”
Sam : “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher”.
Teacher : “What about your mother?”
Sam : “She’s a woman”.

Q: How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A: He sleeps at night.

Q: Why it is impossible to send a telegram to Washington today?
A: Because he is dead.

Q: What often falls but never gets hurt?
A: Rain

Q: Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
A: Because it has its own scales.

Q:What is the end of foolishness?
A: When you try to commit suicide from a building's basement!

Q:If It points downwards,you are safe BUT
   if it points upwards,you will DIE!
A: a tie in your neck!